Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Have you ever had one of those days....

A day where you get up in the morning and within 20 minutes of getting out of bed your previously, almost toilet trained toddler decides to wee all over the floor.... A day when everything you ask your toddler to do ends in  'NO' and 'I NO WANT TO' and consequently ends with you trying to have a verbal confrontation with them which makes no sense at all, especially since you are a teacher and know that you will get know where in this argument... But you continue anyway until you end up in tears, and your toddler ends up in tears and you guessed it, weeing all over the floor... again....

Its been one of those days.... And really the only thing to do is put your toddler to bed, text your friend about what a crappy mother you are and get the reassurance you need with a text back simply saying "Its a hard job.  Sometimes taking it one day at a time is too much and you just need to take it one hour at a time."  The sort of friend that you drive to see and tell the complete truth of your bad parenting too because not only do they not judge you, they tell you their own parenting fails and you laugh about how crazy life has become...That's the sort of friend you need on speed dial when you are all but ready to pack your bags, get in the car and drive very, very far away...

Being a mum is the most rewarding, yet the most exhausting job I have ever had... I feel immense guilt when I have a day like today because Ayda is my only one and I don't want to waste a single moment being cranky at her or sad or crying or plonking her in front of the TV so I can get away from her for 10 minutes... But I have realised that even when your situation is that you are raising this only child and you should be completely grateful for every day, reality is that we all, whether we admit them publicly or not, have days we are not proud of with our children and I cannot beat myself up over them... I wait for my husband to get home, I cry on his shoulder and wait for him to pour me a glass of wine..... I watch him play with our beautiful daughter while I can regroup.... I kiss my baby to sleep and I will wake up tomorrow with a renewed energy and I buy a new bottle of wine for when the next hair raising day comes to town....


3 comments:

  1. You know I have those days all. the. freaking. time. You are the best Mum I know. Chin up and just remember "this too shall pass" (Thank goodness lol).

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  2. Ha ha you are my sanity! That and Malteaser slice ;)

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  3. (ICLW May- happy to have found you!)
    Oh, mama! I know we all have "those" days, but it's so nice to actually see someone talk about them! I likely have an only child as well (due to fertility and health issues), and truly try to be present in every moment with my sweet boy, but there are days when it's quite challenging.
    I'm in the middle of one today, actually- ha!
    I keep telling myself, "The days are long, but the years are short..."
    :-)

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